So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
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I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
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Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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