i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
porn star boner night. come get it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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