Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
