That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
