I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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