I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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