She said her name was "party"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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