just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
