new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
