i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
