I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
lol hangovers are for mortals.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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