ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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