I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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