Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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