I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
