I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
