One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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