At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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