and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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