And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
