Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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