just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
