Just cropdusted the office
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
