He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
