I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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