Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
