did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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