ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
