Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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