I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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