would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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