i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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