You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
