Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
