It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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