Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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