is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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