He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
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