Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
