College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize