the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Randomize
