i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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