I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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