I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
