in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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