Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
