who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
