how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
