Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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