Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
