So drunk its hurt
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize