We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
A bitchslap is in order.
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