those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize
