was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
