You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
