Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
