I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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