Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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