chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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