My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
