How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
