If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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