Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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