Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
