it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
