Small penises have feelings too.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
