So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My ass is underappreciated
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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