think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you win again, gameday.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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