doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
