brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
