I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
